Respect the Boundaries of Networking

How natural it is for us to encourage our clients to “network.” But, are we educating them on how to network well? 

Before you answer “yes, of course!” let’s look at two definitions for that term. You’re about to read the one so many of our clients (and some of our colleagues) rely on. Sadly, it rarely works. It just increases our clients’ stress. Here is the meaning many people attach to networking:

Networking: A mutually mortifying ritual whereby people impose on every friend, relative, and total stranger, to ask for something none of them can give: a job.

No wonder those clients cringe inwardly at the thought. No wonder some of us are so frustrated when they don’t “do what we encourage them to do.”

Now consider this definition:

Networking: A natural preference for extending value to those who can reciprocate, without any immediate expectation of results, and without giving away the store.

The difference represents a boundary our clients should never cross. That boundary is imposition. Tasking a stranger won’t get results.

When our clients tell everybody in sight they are looking for a job, when they inquire of employees about whether their companies have openings, when they ask friends to “help them find a job,” they have crossed that boundary. When they do, the process shuts down.

Suppose you and I were longtime friends. And further suppose you are employed, while I am looking for a job. I ask you if there are openings in your company. You care about me and want to help. 

But I may well have put you in an uncomfortable position. That we are friends doesn’t mean you know how good I am in my career field. If you champion me, and I don’t work out, your brand has been damaged. We may be friends, but what you call a great job, might be a turnoff for me. There are too many chances for too many things to go wrong.

Now let’s consider the power, pleasure, and rewards that come with using the second definition. If I am going to offer true value best, it follows I must have a commanding brand. Building such brands is not only fun, it’s a wonderful source of revenue for your practice. (See “Your Unspoken Brand Speaks Volumes,” The Spotlight, September 2024, pp 12 – 13).

Once I have a powerful brand, it needs to be digitally visible. Making brands digitally visible through LinkedIn and elsewhere is also a source of revenue for your practice. (See “LinkedIn’s Flawed Brand Can Boost Your Clients’ Profiles,” The Spotlight, February 2025, pp 11 – 13.) Brands, even digitally visible ones, don’t run on autopilot. Guide your clients to find who they can exchange value with. Don’t ask clients to come up with specific names. Rather, ask what kind of professionals would fit into that category.

Let me use myself and my clients as examples. I don’t need colleagues in my LI network. We all know each other already. I need people who can help me and my clients beyond the knowledge we all share about our industry. 

Since I work with rising, senior, and very senior executives, my network includes enrolled agents (accountants specializing in Federal taxes), employment attorneys, staff for members of Congress, professionals who run think tanks devoted to international trade, organizational development professionals…you get the picture. Each of these experts can help my clients (through me) expand their value.

My clients grow their network by offering value to people in other fields. So my client, an executive director for a professional organization, can give a Congressional staffer insights into new trends in her industry. My international business development client helps a commodities trader understand how Chinese businesses work.

When my clients know what kinds of people in which career fields should be in their network, they search LI and professional organizations to find the best. Then they use LI profiles to find some commonality. 

My clients’ first contact with a potential new member of their network never relies on LI’s insipid, canned inmail that says: “Hi! I would like to have you join my network.” 

That’s not networking; that’s spamming. It will shut down most networking opportunities.

Here’s a sample Inmail from my client, a program manager in the aviation industry, to someone who might help her. She’s reaching out to a director of an air traffic control center:

“Jim:

As soon as I saw your LinkedIn profile, I made writing to you my first priority. 

Let me say right up front: I am not selling anything.

Because we are in related industries I wonder if we might learn from one another.

I guide programs that produce the latest in avionics. In a way, because you’re in air traffic control with the FAA, you are my ultimate customer. 

To serve you well in that capacity, I would value your reactions to a new transponder system we’re thinking about.

If that interests you, please suggest some days and times for us to talk. I’ll work hard to align my schedule with yours.

Janet”

Janet got an answer the next day. And her discussions with Jim continue to add value. As she looks for new program management opportunities, you can be sure her cover letter mentions her in-depth knowledge of the customer base. Jim, on the other hand, is much better prepared to join the discussion on how the air traffic control system must improve.

The best way to master networking is to exercise it yourself. My practice has run on networking for more than 30 years. As I find ways to help others, I learn what works and what doesn’t.

For example, years ago I wrote articles to post on LinkedIn. I uploaded to appropriate groups, the ones where my potential clients live. I never got more than 50 readers. Interest would peak for one or two days, and then the curve flat lined. 

Now I only post updates. I get 500+ views in a matter of days. Many clients find me through those posts. It’s wonderful to have pre-qualified people seek me out. 

That approach really pays off. 

My clients won’t stand for being directed to a faceless website (they call it an “automated brochure”). They want to speak with a human. They are not a “gold,” “silver,” or “bronze” package. They want answers that fit their needs. That’s why they go to my LI profile. 

Because I target my posts to markets in which my clients live, those who contact me are prequalified. When they see my brand on my profile they are presold. 

Compare that to my trying to “salt” my profile with “key words.” LI has more than one billion members! If they search for “career coach” they will get near endless matches! I am supposed to believe my set of key words is so exceptional searchers will find me first? Even if I place in the top one percent that would bury me among hundreds of competitors. 

The point? Key words aren’t brands. Key words don’t build networks.

Continue to help your clients build powerful brands. Guide them to become digitally visible. But also keep them from crossing the networking boundary. That way both you and they will enjoy great success.