The “Big Why” Goal

My only goal in life is to be immortal. So far, so good.

It’s that time of year. The time of year when most of us are bombarded with advice about, and countless methodologies, to set goals. And before we move on, let’s be upfront and honest. Study after study reveals that a significant percentage of people who set goals and New Year’s resolutions, fail to achieve them. While specific numbers vary by study and population, here’s a general breakdown:

• Only 40–50% of people set goals for a new year, or create New Year’s resolutions. 
• By the end of January, nearly 25% have already abandoned their goals and resolutions.  
• Less than 10% are successful in fully meeting their goals by year-end.
• Of the < 10% who succeed, the attainment of their goals has little impact on their lives.

Why do well-intentioned folks set goals and then fail at achieving them? Once again, studies suggest the most common reasons for failure include: 

• Setting overly ambitious or vague goals.
• Failing to develop inspiring actionable steps and strategies.
• Loss of motivation, where initial enthusiasm wanes.
• Poor habits, a negative environment, and/or never-ending distractions.
• Lack of accountability and/or no system to track progress.

The ‘Big Why’ goal

I believe there’s an explanation that supersedes the bullets above. I call it the Big Why goal.  The Big Why goal represents the ultimate benefit we attain by achieving it. Joe’s Big Why goal is to land a better job, not just to earn more money to pay the bills, but for his family to live an extraordinary life. The Big Why goal has a deep emotional connection to attaining it. Then, all other goals Joe sets are in pursuit of his Big Why goal – an extraordinary life for his family.

As 2025 starts anew, it’s a good time for you, and your clients/students, to ponder your Big Why goal, so that when accomplished, it would make 2025 one of your best years ever. It’s the perfect time to start over, set new goals, and pursue all those things and experiences you want and deserve in the coming year. Yet, most people are throwing together a bunch of ‘I hopes,’ and leave it at that.  In other words, they are setting goals, but they have no deep intrinsic connection to them.  

They don’t ask:

• Why am I setting these goals?
• What will achieving my goals do for me and my family?
• Who will I become as a result of achieving them?

My contention is this: If we know our Big Why goal, all other goals and resolutions we set will support it. Without a Big Why goal, most goals and resolutions we set will fall to the wayside at the first uprising of adversity, resistance, or distraction.  Or we’ll end up settling.   

The Big Why goal is like a magnet that draws us toward our ultimate desire. It’s a deeper, emotional desire than ordinary goals. As you would do anything for your child, you’d do almost anything to achieve your Big Why goal. It’s easy to see that without a Big Why goal, less than 10% of those who set New Years’ goals and resolutions fail to achieve them.  

You only need to think ‘1’ thing

Have you ever attended or participated in a half-day or full-day goals workshop? I have – many.  Here’s what happens. You spend quality hours and positive energy pondering and brainstorming your goals in many different categories: personal, financial, vacation, health, family, adventure, spiritual, professional, things I want to buy, and stretch goals for the coming year. Usually you’d select 10 to 12 varying categories. 

Once you’ve selected your categories, you then select the 3-5 most important goals in each category that you really want to achieve. You write them down, put a date you want the goals to be achieved by, and jot down a preliminary paragraph (or two), which is the beginning of a more comprehensive action plan that you complete at home.

At the end of the day, you pack up, leave the workshop, and go home totally drained. Ultimately, you forget them all. Your brain is fried, overwhelmed, and confused. You wake up the next day and feel like you never went to sleep and pulled an all-nighter. Totally spent. The last goal setting workshop I attended, I had 10 categories with 3 goals in each category. That’s 30 goals, 30 dates to keep in mind to achieve all 30 goals, and some semblance of 30 action plans on how to achieve each of the 30 goals.  

These were great workshops led by highly respected professionals with well intentioned outcomes for their participants. But here’s the thing – our brains can’t focus on 30 goals. It can’t focus on 12. Actually, it has trouble handling 2 major goals. But the good news is… the brain can easily focus on, pursue, and achieve 1 Big Why goal.

The Big Why goal question 

Think December 31, 2025. In fact, take a trip into the future and envision yourself at the end of 2025 – 12 months from now. Before you begin whatever process of goal setting you practice, you must first identify your 1 Big Why goal – that will then drive all others.  

Here’s the question you ask to determine your (and your job seekers’) Big Why goal:

If you could identify and achieve just 1 outcome by the end of this year, that would SIGNIFICANTLY ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE – and that YOU WOULD COMMIT TO… what would it be?”

It takes courage to ask this question

This is not an easy question to ask, because it makes us vulnerable to the inevitable – self-doubt, rejection, and resistance. In fact, vulnerable to the primary fear – ‘What if I fail?’

And the HOW is missing. This is why most people won’t ask this question, because they need to know how they will succeed before they know the deeper, ‘why do you want to succeed?’ Why do you really want to go to the moon? Why do you really want the right to vote? Why do you really want to reduce emissions? Why do you really want a better, more rewarding job?  

When we know our Big Why goal, the how always shows up – “where there’s a will (the Big Why) there’s a way (the how). It’s a Big Why goal that creates a determined and resilient mindset. 

Commitment 

Ah, this is where the rubber meets the road; where the heart meets the test of commitment. As noted previously, the following questions are important when seeking to identify your Big Why goal:  

• Why am I setting these goals?
• What will achieving my goals do for me (and my family)?
• Who will I become as a result of achieving them?

When your Big Why goal is truly exciting and compelling, your mind in concert with the minds of others around you, will find a way to achieve it. It’s a commitment you make to yourself. Your Big Why goal is so magnetizing, you won’t back down under duress or adversity. Quitting is not an option and settling is unacceptable. And all other goals and resolutions that will be set, will be set, primarily, to support your Big Why goal.

5 real life examples:

“If you could identify and achieve just 1 outcome by the end of this year, that would SIGNIFICANTLY ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE – and that YOU WOULD COMMIT TO… what would it be?”

Joseph B.

“To relocate to a less expensive state and secure employment there, so my family can live a higher quality, less stressful life.”

Kelley O’

“To be cancer free by Christmas.” 

James Q.

“To stay happily employed, and replenish my kid’s college funds.” 

Milly C.

“To hire a career coach in the Denver area so I can land a new job there, so I can relocate to be close to my grandchildren.”

Jay Block (as I turn 73)

“To be alive, energetic, and healthy.”

And yours?