Let’s talk about something that too often gets left at the threshold of a coaching session: mental health. As a licensed Mental Health First Aid instructor and long-time career coach, I’ve seen firsthand the emotional layers that clients carry into our spaces—layers that too many coaches overlook, rush past, or simply don’t feel equipped to address. But here’s the truth: career coaching without mental health awareness is like trying to build a house with no foundation.

Career transitions are emotional. Period. Whether a client is dealing with rejection, burnout, imposter syndrome, or the loss of identity that can come with a layoff, those emotions show up long before the résumé gets opened. And when we skip the mental check-in—when we jump straight to goal setting—we risk coaching someone who’s emotionally underwater, expecting them to swim to shore with no life jacket.

Now let’s be clear: career coaches aren’t therapists, nor should we pretend to be. But that doesn’t mean we ignore mental health. In fact, it’s our responsibility to create emotionally supportive spaces and recognize when a client’s well-being is impacting their career progress. It means creating a safe environment for clients to say, “I’m not okay,” and knowing how to respond with empathy, presence, and support. It means recognizing when a client needs us to pause the job hunt and instead normalize what they’re feeling. That moment alone can be a breakthrough.

Mental health isn’t a sidebar—it’s central to whether a client can take risks, recover from setbacks, and move forward with confidence. Ignoring it means coaching from the surface. But when we integrate mental health awareness into our coaching, we empower our clients to address the real roadblocks—not just the résumé gaps, but the self-doubt, the overwhelm, the fear.

In every coaching session, there’s a choice point: are we building strategy on shaky ground, or are we grounding our strategy in self-awareness? Checking in on mental and emotional readiness is not just compassionate—it’s strategic. When clients feel heard emotionally, they’re more likely to engage, take action, and stick with the process. That’s the kind of transformation we’re really here for.

This isn’t just about being a better coach—it’s about being a more complete one. It’s about recognizing that the most effective coaching is human-centered, emotionally intelligent, and flexible enough to pause when a client needs support beyond our scope. And yes, sometimes the best coaching move you can make is a referral—not as a retreat, but as a powerful partnership in your client’s healing and growth.

I challenge you to ask yourself before each session: Is my client mentally ready to receive support—or do they need space to be seen first? That one question can shift everything.

Let’s keep this conversation going. Our clients don’t just need coaches—they need they need real support from people who show up with both heart and skill.

Here’s to mindful moves,

Felicia A. Shanklin, M.Ed., CPRW

Licensed Mental Health First Aid Instructor (Adult)
Balanced Harmony Master Series Director

The word “networking” often has a negative connotation to some – it feels daunting and challenging. Networking conjures images of “working” a room at a networking event, shaking hands with scores of people, laughing and smiling ingeniously, and groveling for a job. 

However, relationship building sounds much more palatable. We naturally build relationships with family members, neighbors, friends, colleagues, and clients. We often don’t even think about the relationships we build that come naturally – they just happen. Soon, a new relationship blossoms into a friendship or work partnership. These relationships often lead to new opportunities and “leads” for networking, enabling job seekers to reach and attain their career goals. 

For example, I built a good working relationship with my bookkeeper. Because we spoke frequently over several months to set up my business, our working relationship evolved into a friendship, and we often had lunch together, discussed our families, and helped each other build our businesses. Because she worked with many different clients, she was able to refer a lawyer, an accountant, and a computer technician. The lawyer was able to manage my LLC incorporation and personal family trust, and recommended a legal professional for business contracting. There was no stress in building this relationship – it happened naturally. 

I recently traveled on a 16-hour flight. Engaging in conversation with my seatmate, I learned that he worked for LinkedIn, traveling the world. He told me about his job and how he obtained the position by networking. He began as a contractor for the company, designing interiors for some of their offices. He was approached by one of the company’s permanent employees who asked him if he would be interested in working for the company as a full-time/permanent employee. He now travels to all of the company’s offices globally. We shared pictures, and he provided advice; he also has a wealth of referrals if I desire to redesign any of my interior spaces.  

I often hear from my military clients that they struggle with networking, as they are unfamiliar with people outside the military. As a career coach, I ask them who they have connected with and built relationships with during their career. Sometimes we use their holiday card list, list of people they know whom they send birthday wishes to, and other lists. We used to have Rolodexes – today, these lists are often found on social media.

Some of my shy clients do not like to network at any cost. They would rather post hundreds of résumés to job boards and maintain detailed spreadsheets than speak to a human in person or virtually. This is a cold-calling job search.

Whenever I take a taxi while traveling, I ask the driver where he recommends I visit and eat. I find that the best food is outside the tourist areas. I build a quick connection, gain the information needed, and get the taxi driver’s number, so I can set up times for him to drive me to the places he suggested. I get superior service this way. 

Coaching Tips to Build Connections and Relationships

As a career coach, I ask my clients, “What is the worst thing that can happen if you attend a networking event?” 

Methods to Build Connections and/or Leverage Relationships

• Instead of attending a networking event to work the room, ask the client if she/he can volunteer to staff the registration table. This allows the client to learn the names of all attendees, meet them in person, and create an environment where the client can speak directly with attendees during the event. Because the client was  at the check-in table, they appeared to be in a place of “authority and knowledge of the organization.” I recommend this method for all types of events, including alumni events, conferences, job fairs, association events, and even virtual events (by volunteering to help set up the event).
• Challenge your clients to commit to meeting X (1, 3, 5) people at an event. It may be difficult for some, but if they can make a commitment and report back to the coach on progress, it creates a sense of accountability. They can share their scan codes for LinkedIn or even share a business card. 
• If a client is particularly dismayed by the thought of attending a networking event, challenge them to take along a friend or colleague – someone to “hold their hand” as they try to meet new people. 
• Challenge your client to reach out to X (1, 3, 5) people via LinkedIn or social media within xx weeks. Again, agreeing to a commitment creates accountability. 
• Challenge clients to contact everyone on a holiday card list, members of a faith-based organization, or any external organization with which the client may be involved, such as a volunteer organization like Habitat for Humanity, the local pet shelter, or the local soup kitchen or food bank. 
• If a client is retiring from the military, federal government, or other long-term position, they do not have the difficulty and specific concerns of conducting a confidential job search. In this case, I work with them and coach them to develop a letter to send to everyone they know, including colleagues, friends, neighbors, and family, that explains their retirement and describes their delight with the opportunity to retire after 20 years of employment. The letter describes the individual’s areas of expertise and summarizes their career history in a few short lines, and concludes with a line that says, “Since I have been employed for many years, I am excited to learn about career management and new professional job opportunities. If you are aware of any leads in my area of expertise or if you have job-seeking advice, I would be most pleased to speak with you…”

Most of our clients have many more connections than they believe they do. We need to coach them to identify these contacts, leverage the relationships established over the years, and encourage them to make new connections and build new relationships to support their job search.

Building relationships and connections is a critical component of career management, as most positions are secured by “who you know” or “knowing someone who knows someone” who will refer a client to a recruiter or hiring manager.

The traditional process of networking for a job is often described as a soul-crushing endeavor – filled with uncertainty, rejection, and anxiety. For many job seekers, networking feels like begging: a disempowering process of pleading, in a humiliating manner, for help, asking for favors, and hoping someone takes pity on them. But what if networking didn’t have to be that way?

What if, instead of fear and pain, job seekers approached networking with a sense of purpose, clarity, and confidence – transforming the entire experience into one of empowerment, achievement, and measurable results?

The secret lies in a simple but transformative mindset shift: networking isn’t about asking for a job – it’s about building a powerful, effective, and ‘free’ salesforce. And the product the salesforce is promoting is the job candidate, and the results they can contribute in return for a paycheck. 

Below are nine tips for job seekers, and how they, by your coaching techniques, can reframe networking from a painful obligation into an empowering process – by understanding, owning, and communicating their unique value proposition.

1. The Traditional Problem: Networking as “Begging”

The common narrative around job searching is reactive. People lose a job, graduate, or decide to transition – and then scramble to reach out to contacts, nervously asking, “Do you know of any openings?” It feels awkward, intrusive, and one-sided. Why?

Because it is one-sided – when it’s all about the job candidate’s needs and not what they offer. This puts them in a disempowered position. They’re asking for something, offering nothing in return, and hoping for help based on goodwill or charity.  

That’s not networking – that’s pleading.  But networking doesn’t have to be charity-based. It can be value-driven.

2. Reframe: It’s Not Begging—It’s Building a Salesforce

Sales professionals know something that most job seekers don’t: you don’t need to close every deal yourself. You cultivate a salesforce of people who know and believe in the product and its contributional value, who will advocate for them. Job seekers can do the same thing when conducting a rapid employment campaign.

The idea is to turn one’s network – not just friends and former colleagues, but also classmates, mentors, online connections, and even acquaintances – into one’s sales team.

They’re not selling a product – they’re selling the job candidate and their value to potential employers. Their skills. Their experience. Their potential. Their ability to generate exceptional results.  But for them to do that effectively, career coaches need to equip them with the right message(s).

3. Coaches helping Job Seekers Develop Their Value Proposition

A value proposition is a concise, compelling summary (a sentence or two – not a story) of the value a job candidate can deliver. In the hiring process, it answers one essential question:

“What specific results can I generate for a company that the company would eagerly compensate me for?”

To build an effective value proposition, coaches must inspire job candidates to reflect on the following:

• What problems do I solve?
• What significant contributions can I make?
• How do I help teams/organizations win?
• What proof do I have of past success or of my potential?
• What makes me stand out from others in my field?

Example:

“I help fast-growing SaaS startups reduce churn and increase customer lifetime value by building scalable, data-driven customer success strategies. In my last role, I improved retention by 22% in under a year.” (2 sentences). 

This is not begging. This is powerful. It tells the ‘contacts’ exactly what the job seeker does, who they do it for, and how it makes a tangible impact.

Now imagine dozens of people in one’s network of contacts being able to describe a job candidate like that. That’s a job candidate’s salesforce in action.

4. Equip and Activate One’s Network of Contacts

Once a job seeker’s value proposition is defined, the next step is to communicate it clearly and consistently across all their interactions:

• Conversations: When someone asks what they’re looking for, they don’t say “I’m open to anything” or, “I just need a job.” Instead, they would say:

“I’m looking to help companies increase operational efficiency through data automation and workflow optimization. That’s where I’ve consistently delivered results.”

• Emails: Don’t send a vague, desperate note saying, “Let me know if you hear of anything.” Instead, write:

“I specialize in project turnarounds for underperforming marketing teams. If you know of companies facing growth challenges or new product launches, I’d love to contribute.”

• LinkedIn: Optimize a job candidate’s profile headline and summary with their value proposition. Use posts to share insights, case studies, or thoughts that reinforce their unique expertise.

When a job candidate’s network of contacts understands what they offer and can articulate it clearly, they can refer them to the right people, open doors of opportunity, and become ambassadors for their rapid employment campaign – and career.

5. Shift One’s Mindset: Networking as Contribution, Not Request

One of the most important mindset shifts is this: The job candidate is not taking—they’re offering.

A job candidate is offering their time, skills, and track record of results. They’re offering the opportunity to contribute to an organization, aligned with the organization’s mandates for growth and/or short term goals. 

Every conversation a job candidate has, is a chance to give clarity, not just ask for assistance. Most people actually want to help others succeed, especially when they know what success (or the goal) looks like. This transforms the tone of one’s networking conversations. Instead of saying:

“I’m looking for anything in marketing…”

The job candidate says:

“I’m looking to help companies develop content strategies that drive inbound leads. I’ve had success doing that for fintech and B2B SaaS companies, especially during product launches.”

The job seeker is now not a problem – they’re a solution; an asset.

6. Make It Easy to Talk About Oneself – Simplicity Is an Artform

If job seekers want their network of contacts to work for them, they must make it easy.

• Create a one-pager: ‘This-is-what-I-can-do-for-you’ sheet summarizing one’s value, accomplishments, and ideal roles. Then reduce it down to a one or two-sentence value proposition. 
• Share the sample value proposition:

“Uncle Will, if you’re introducing me to someone, you could say: ‘I know someone who specializes in leading cross-functional teams through digital transformation projects. She’s delivered six-figure savings for Fortune 500 clients.’”

• Use evidence and metrics: People remember bottom line messages more than anything.  “I can ‘verifiably’ increase efficiency more than 100% by implementing techno-driven JIT inventory methodologies.”

The more memorable a job candidate’s message is, the more likely their network of contacts will keep them top-of-mind when opportunities arise.  

7. Be Consistent, Not Desperate

One key to turning networking into a sales engine is self-confidence; not desperation. Just like in sales, most people won’t buy (or refer) on the first contact. Job seekers must stay top-of-mind by:

• Posting value-driven content on LinkedIn.
• Sending periodic updates to one’s network of contacts.
• Thanking people for introductions and updating them on outcomes.
• Offering value in return – a lunch or dinner, a reciprocal courtesy or small token of appreciation, etc. 

Job seekers are not pestering – they’re nurturing.  They’re an asset.

8. Transform the Emotional Experience of Networking

When networking feels like groveling, it becomes emotionally draining. But when it’s reframed as a strategic process of deploying one’s sales team and showcasing their strengths, it becomes energizing.  Job candidates: 

• Feel in control.
• Know what they’re offering.
• Enter into conversations with brevity and clarity.
• Leave your salesforce with something memorable.

This transformation is powerful. Job seekers are no longer at the mercy of job boards and gatekeepers. They’re leading a campaign – strategically, confidently, and collaboratively.

9. Measure and Repeat

Like any sales team, one’s network needs guidance and feedback. Job seekers must track what’s working:

• Are people referring the job candidate to the right roles?
• Are they getting interviews from conversations?
• Are they hearing or receiving consistent feedback?

If not, revisit the value proposition. Is it too vague? Too generic? Too focused on duties instead of results?  The goal is to refine one’s message until their network of contacts become a magnet for the kinds of opportunities they want. 

Summary: Takeaways for Job Candidates:

• Stop begging. Start selling. Communicate your value, not your needs.
• Define a clear value proposition. Focus on results and contributions you can deliver.
• Turn your network into your sales team. Equip them with the right messages.
• Stay consistent and confident. Don’t disappear after one conversation.
• Make your message easy to remember. Use evidence, metrics, and proof points.
• Rethink your job search as a rapid employment campaign. Be strategic, proactive, and proud of what you can deliver, generate and produce that would be valuable to your future employer. Then share this with your contacts.