Nailed It (Or Not): The Complete Guide to Surviving a Job Interview with Your Parents in Tow

A Game-Changer for Coaches

Melissa Venable, Ph.D., writing for Best Colleges, says, “Almost 30% of Gen. Z workers report that interviewing is their biggest job search challenge, and it’s 24% for millennials (i.e., ages 26-41).”  So, how are young job seekers addressing their interviewing discomforts? 

CNBC (among other reliable sources), reports that many Gen Zers are bringing their parents to job interviews.  “College graduations are in full swing and so are job interviews for Gen Z candidates. But with a slowdown in hiring by many companies and a job market flooded with certain kinds of talent, some younger workers are turning to an unlikely source to help set themselves apart from the competition: their parents.  One in four Gen Zers have brought a parent to a job interview over the past year, and roughly one-quarter have had their parents submit job applications on their behalf, according to a new survey of nearly 1,500 Gen Zers by ResumeTemplates.com. Another 13% admit to having their parents complete their human resources screening calls.” 

Problems When Parents Become Career Coaches

Paul Wolfe, former chief human resources officer for Indeed, and author of Human Beings First says, “It’s good to see and hear of parents wanting to help their kids with the job search and mock interviews.  But parents have to realize that they need to let their kids fly on their own in a job interview. The young person is the one we’re interested in hiring, not the parent. We’re trying to assess whether that candidate has the skills to do the job (on their own).”

But here’s another thing.  I’ve found that, in general, when parents help their Gen Zer kids with their job search, these well-intentioned parents are using outdated tools, strategies, and mindsets.  Many lack the technical, AI (Chat GPT), and social media expertise to be of full value.  Furthermore, when parents rely on information gathered online to help their kids, they discover differing and, often conflicting, advice.  One source says no more than 650-750 words on a résumé, while another says a two-page résumé can contain up to 1,500 words.  

And let’s face it, the technology used by employers today to recruit, screen, and select applicants makes it confusing to almost everyone, including Gen Zers and their parents.  ATS tracking, PDF attachment, keywords, key phrases, value propositions, diversity interviewing, leveraged interviewing, and employment agreements are just a few of the areas that most, parents are undereducated in. 

Stacie Haller, chief career advisor at ResumeBuilder, says, “Some parents haven’t looked for a new job in 10 or 20 years. If your kid needs help finding a job, get an expert to help them. You’re not an expert just because you have a job.”  

Finally, Deane Budney, executive recruiter says, “I’m actually surprised to see parents getting this involved in interviews.  In my mind, this alone speaks volumes of the candidate I would be interviewing.  That said, I don’t blame the kids; it’s the parents who create this ‘awkward’ situation.  I would quickly and politely ask them to get lost, and then I have a one-on-one with the candidate – alone.”

Interview Coaching for Job Seekers and Their Parents

If 25% of Gen Zers have taken a parent to a job interview in the past year, and it appears this trend is only accelerating, this topic must be addressed in all  job interview training.  Consider Gene Marks, whose LinkedIn article is entitled:  Parents attending their child’s job interview… as a manager, I’m all for it.   

Marks writes, “Many have thrown up their hands in horror at news that one in four of Gen Z job applicants, those aged between 18 and 27, have admitted to bringing a parent to their job interview. What a bunch of snowflakes.  They’re old enough to vote, join the military, see R rated movies, and even live independently. And what, they can’t go on a job interview without bringing along their mommy and daddy?

“Well I love it. Let’s embrace these parents. Invite them in. Give them coffee. Encourage their participation. Why?  Because a parent can reveal a lot.” (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/parents-attending-childs-job-interview-manager-im-all-gene-marks-cpa-fy1le/). 

Our Opinion Doesn’t Matter 

Whether we throw up our hands in horror, or love the idea, career and job interview coaches must accept that this is now a reality of the hiring process – like it or not.  Coaches now must learn to coach BOTH job seeker and their parents.  And I can assure you this is not easy.  And I can also assure you that this new aspect of interviewing is just evolving.  There are no protocols.  Yes, for now there is common sense.  But as we know, what is common sense to one can be the opposite to another.

In addition to all that is taught to prepare job seeker for interviews, the same must be taught to the parents and then… the really hard part… alignment!  For example, the interviewer asks a question and the job seeker shakes his head up and down indicating, ‘yes,’ while his parents shake their heads back and forth indicating, ‘no.’   This presents a unique perspective for the interviewer.   

Chris Bevin, communications expert says, “You have to teach nonverbal communication as much as the verbal aspect of interviewing.  And mirroring each other, both parents and job seekers, is critical.  When a job seeker confidently gives an answer and the parents frown, that’s telling.  In my opinion, parents attending interview with their kids make it more challenging for their kids because there are now more moving parts.  Meaning, more things can go wrong than can go right.”

This is not the venue to discuss the psychological and social aspects of why this is all occurring.  But it is important to understand some of the contributing factors because when we better understand circumstances, we can better coach for success.  

Lenore Skenazy and Jonathan Haidt of Let Grow call it, “The Fragile Generation.”  They write, “The problem has been brewing for at least a generation:  Beginning in the 1980s, American childhood changed. For a variety of reasons—including shifts in parenting norms, new academic expectations, increased regulation, technological advances, and especially a heightened fear of abduction (missing kids on milk cartons made it feel as if this exceedingly rare crime was rampant)—children largely lost the experience of having large swaths of unsupervised time to play, explore, and resolve conflicts on their own. This has left them more fragile, more easily offended, and more reliant on others.”

But, Vicki Phillips, writing for Forbes says, “Gen Z is drinking less, learning more, and embracing a spirit of global agency and impact that prior generations could not even imagine. Which raises the question: what were later Boomers and Gen-Xers doing when they were 15, 16 and 17?  As someone who has actually worked with Gen-Zers, I can tell you, the kids these days are more than alright.”  

Let’s Agree On This:

Given the many differing opinions on this issue, there is pretty much universal agreement that, since the beginning of time, most job candidates go into a job interview unprepared or underprepared.  Now, consider what LZ Granderson wrote in a June 2024 edition of the Los Angeles Times:  “Let’s start with employers saying younger applicants are unprepared. That should not be altogether surprising given the havoc the pandemic played on the world’s education system and the lives of young people during formative years. The ramifications stemming from years of interruption in learning and social development are beginning to show up in the workforce.”

My point here is this.  Interviewing was always been a fearful, if not terrifying, activity.  Twenty years ago I worked Kirk Bluin, the Police Chief of Palm Beach, Florida (now retired).  He was a military veteran, a SWAT team leader, and a good and fearless cop.  In helping him interview for the job of Police Chief, I was not surprised that he was terrified of interviewing with Palm Beach’s leaders – some highly influential people.  He was never afraid of bullets in protecting the nation or the people of Palm Beach.  But he was totally fearful of a job interview.  

Fast-forward to post-pandemic times, there can be no argument that Gen Zers face an even greater fear of what was already a fearful activity.  The reality is this:  One-in-four job seekers are bringing a parent to a job interview.  And for employment professionals and career coaches, when working with young job seekers, the focus must be on successfully coaching a whole new phenomenon: job seeker-parent interview coaching.

Job Seeker-Parent Interview Coaching

The protocols for this new phenomenon are still very much under construction (and being integrated into PARWCC’s Certified Interview Coach – CIC).  But one thing is for certain, coaching Job Seeker-Parent Interviewing will be totally unlike anything interview coaches have done in the past, because it requires a whole new skillset that is beyond critical:

• Job seeker-parent nonverbal alignment  
• Job seeker-parent job interview goals alignment 
• Job-seeker-parent communication style alignment 
• Job seeker-parent expectations alignment

Just for starters.